Seasons

As the last of the warmer seasons leave us, we suddenly feel the cold reality of life, moving swiftly by like a sudden rushing wind. And as the memories of our liveliness, so suddenly, fade to pale browns and greys, the bite of winter's breath reminds us that the old season is gone, and that its time to let go and face the even greater, frosty horizon. So too in my life I feel the sudden plunge that turns to a fast free-fall, as if my soft, leafy landing had vanished and all that remains is the deep and long abyss of simply living.

And there are times it seems that the elements of winter, such as deep chill of a quiet hush, and the crackling of frost as it envelopes us, all too quickly takes over the place that we once felt the warmth of the season we grew too used to being in. And like a thief in the night, the bite of winter has silently changed our surroundings, stolen what was left of our beautiful summer, and left us with the cold, unending night. But stepping into a new season is never easy, especially when the evergreen are all too fond of reminding us that we're simply out of place. Nothing more than bits of twine and twigs, without the lush of the green we once were clothed with, and completely fruitless in a season we suddenly realise we do not belong in.

But the truth that rings out is that with winter comes the rain, and the deep silence required to mourn the passing of a good season. A chance to rebuild and to regrow for the harvest yet to come. For there is no room for new beginnings, without letting go of the past. And there cannot be growth after a harrowing winter, if we're weighing ourselves down with the memories of a summer's past. So I'm appreciating the warmth I'm blessed with through the frost, to endure me beyond the winter till spring comes at last.

Equation

Its an interesting thing to consider, when one thinks of how to reason "purpose" in life. That if everything in the world can be summed up, rounded off, multiplied and divided, to a fraction of 'heaven', and somewhere in that enormous equation, still manage to find you. And if, like Einstein suggested, the world is simply made up of compressed, recessed, recycled and re-used energy, then how does one find purpose, for a purpose that is truly significant and special to you?

With all our mistakes, misdirections and imperfections in life, how is it we manage to find space for an unreasonable thing like love? For it in no way has an equation, or a reason or quantifiable reaction, nor does it have perceived methodologies that define it or bind it in any way. So then how do we describe it, define it, compose it or refine it, if there are no compounds to collate its unique sum?

The answer is simple and the equation is this, that love has no fraction or part in its whole. It can therefore only be defined by the source we find it most in, and can summarize its equation from the results we find in ourselves. And that no matter how the measure of your life seems at any point, that even the positives and negatives add up to the perfectly rounded you.

Hope For Courage

There are many things in this world that we may learn to fear. Especially when we live in a world that teaches us the value of things and exactly how to use people, how to treasure possessions and how much to love ourselves. But when we learn that fewer things give us courage, and that love gives us hope, then why place your love in a thing that decreases in value, and hope on a time that soon enough will pass?

Well, I've learned that the best place to store love, is to store it in people. The ones that can build the things that money cannot, and that can never decrease in value for as long as there is love. Yes, people can build memories, and hardly ever decrease in value, even if in their humanity, can make mistakes and turn love to hate. Then the key is to find one person who stores as much love in you as you do in them.

And I can say that at least I have a bank that treasures the thing I treasure most...My hope, my favourite memories, my values and my love. Because, courage is not the absence of fear, but the realisation that something, someone, is more important than fear. And that something, and someone, gives me something more than courage...Something to be courageous about...Hope...

Mended

A time will come when we have to surrender to the obvious, but oblivious fact, that perhaps beneath the porcelain plain of our deprived expression, and somewhere behind the masquerades of our poker faces, and buried deep within good intentions...Perhaps perfection is just the perception of what glue looks like when a man is broken.

Perhaps the only ties that bind a broken end to the part of a mended whole, are smiles and graces of wounded man, who stitched himself together with copious hours of work, and managed to hide his tears with laughter in an effort to numb the pain. And the truth is, eventually we become so used the reparations being in process, that we forget we ever have repairs to complete. Or is it just that we become so comfortable in our own brokeness, that we don't realise that we still have time for repairs?

A time will come when we have to realise that we cannot fix a thing, unless we acknowledge that it is broken. But understand that no matter how broken, there's a difference between you, and truly being beyond repair.

Desperation

There is a very fine line that sometimes separates the wants and needs in our lives. A veil between what is truly required in order to sustain a present or continuous level of being, and what our minds convince our hearts to long for in order to be complete. The divide between the desires of hearts and the restlessness of our minds. A line, a veil and a certain divide, all easily overthrown by the power of our own unwavering desperation.

Yes, the level of a man's desperation can drive him to many things, and at the same time hold him back from too many good things, can blind him from all the right things and sunder his conscience from realising which is which. For it is through desperation that he sees without sight, only the thing he wants, and not the obsession he is exposed to. And using the power behind its relentlessness can assure that man of his victory and failure in what matters most. Because what matters most is always seen from one angle, and every angle of perspective, but one perception which remains true. But even through perception, desperation lies to us, and throws what matters onto an alter as a sacrifice worth making for.

But ignorance does not excuse a man from what lies between the veil, beside the line and over the divide, for it either makes us human or in the worst case, inhumane. Desperation too has a price, that all too late, a man will bear, if he chooses it and uses it to get what he wants and leave behind what the soul truly needs. Like oxygen, truth is the sustenance for the soul, and if its not this need that desperation has led you to. In truth the thing we often fin ourselves desperate for is nothing more than a desire that's just not worth fighting for.

Flashback

There are times when I sit back and relax, and try to glance over the chapters in my life that have played a significant role in shaping and changing who I was at that time, and evolved and developed my way of thinking to the mindset I find myself living with today. And I often wonder if the choices I made were the best ones at the time, if they were only suited for that time, and whether or not they were right for my future, my current present or just the situation at that time. And like a photographer going through the stills of each deciding moment, the pinnacle of choice and the height of indiscretion, that perhaps I could've done more, or should have done less, that perhaps the quality of my results could have somehow been better.

It is in these times that I find profound meaning to Shakespeare's wise and poetic words. That "All the world is a stage, and the men and women merely players", and that in each defining moment, we pass into another simple 'act' and that each enlightening moment is just another chapter, and then perhaps each provoking choice is nothing more than a climax...standing at the brink of change...waiting for the eruption of a resolute fact. It is in this moment that we must realise, that time waits for nobody, and is always fleeting, and that whatever choices we do make, will ultimately become who we are, or at least how the world sees us.

Yes, life is like a script, a play, a film, a song or an unscripted moment. And every choice we make, we put ink to paper, song to sheets, and light to a strip along life's un-ending plain. And although life may seem un-ending, as individuals we must come to an end. So one day you'll find that heart-wrenching moment, much like pre-premier of a new blockbuster film...And on that day, when your life does flash before your eyes...the least you may want to do is make sure you're in for a good trailer. Define your life, each and every day, with each and every moment, in your own unique way.

From Where You Stand

Isn't it amazing how the world changes from where we stand. That from a birds-eye view, a mountain, is just another grain in the sand. And that as we move through our world from day to day, seeing ordinary people in ordinary places, to a man who has nothing in his own world, those ordinary things to us, are quite extraordinary to them. That a simple line in the sand becomes deeply dug trenches to the ant journeying through his day. And until we learn that the only obstacles that are placed in our lives, are only there on the condition of our very own perspectives.

So it baffles me how easily it is to exert so much energy on stress alone, then using all your reserves on fixing a problem, that from another perspective, was never a problem at all. And that's not to say that life is not filled with problems, but only the reality that we simply need to change the way we see and deal with another everyday thing. There will always be problems for as long as there is change, and as long as there is change there will always be solutions. Yes, as long as there are problems, there are millions of perspectives, and to find the right solution, you will have to apply a change. Because the size of a problem changes, depending on where you stand against it, and as such, a solution changes it feasibility depending on which perspective applies.

It is through change that we encounter problems, but change is inevitable in order to promote growth. And if change is the catalyst for an ever evolving problem, then change in kind must be the solution, to solve a problem evolving with change. So change your perspective, and change your solution, for it will change your problem and your life from where you stand.

Rekindle

Like a spark awakened from an ashy past, it only takes a cinder from a spark to ignite a flame. And in an instant a flash is seen, and a searing fire is heard, biting through the cold and damning the night. And just like that something small was motivation enough to bring this blog to life again. It was hard tearing my fingers away from the keyboard, or my hands away from the ink in my pen, but as a writer I feel far too compelled to do what life calls me to do, and just write.

You see frost slips through silently, and is strengthened by the night, and the dark of the evening sets the icy cold alight. And in the morning when you wake, you find your world frozen...without life and without growth...inside you fall apart. And yes frost slipped through the cracks of a strong wall, that I built with my own hands, but failed to support. And even through the darkness I tried to maintain all the upkeep on a wall that should have remained intact. But whether it could, or that it should is not a matter of fact, but a high hope that fell from my own naivety.

So once again the wall is rebuilt, and come the day it was needed, it shall be rebuilt again. Till my hands are no more, and used the last ink in every pen. But still I will remain, with all the words in my heart, and every syllable in my head, and every movement on a page that becomes a blog out in cyberspace. No, words cannot be killed, and like a cinder in the air, it will always rekindle a flame in the hearts of those out there.

The Sieve

There will come a time in life where we begin to understand, that the art of perfecting and of creating something great, is not only in the detail of a grand design, but simply in the persistent scrutiny of finding its imperfections. Whilst many appreciate the steady hand behind the talent of an artist, using his knowledge of his own craftsmanship, and in knowing exactly what he wants to achieve from his stone colossus...Nobody understands the wisdom behind the sieve that passes through the finely crushed powder, extracting each impurity it finds, and casts it out to the sand.

For if the sieve had pores much larger, only to seek out the obvious imperfection, what good would its purpose be to the grandeur of a statue with a hairline crack caused by a stubborn grain found somewhere in the batch. And if the sieve weren't given enough time to tediously go through the same layers of the batch, then how would the mixer differentiate between the perfected and the less than obvious problem in the mix. And even if through all its sifting and separated, the sieve were not meant to cast out the impurity but to leave it there lying, what purpose would it serve at all if not to perfect the fine powder used for the cement, used in the mixture to build up the stone, moulded into a structure the artist can work with, chiselled down to his work of art?

For nobody can understand the true work of a sieve, and the purpose it plays in a much grander design. Yet it remains humble, and still does its job to bring forward the grains with potential and to cast aside those without. But if not by it wearing itself slowly down, or that time and circumstance should wear its pores out, then simply by choice it can step aside, and let an artist with talent shine...but in his artwork remain with doubt.


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Derailed

Its often that we find that life can seem like a mighty hurricane, flying so speedily past us, leaving us dizzy and our world thrown upside down. But every now and then we realise, its not life, but us, moving like a bullet train, seeing only the glimpses of the life we've lived, from a beginning, without a middle, to an end too soon and die. And like a bullet train, never taking the steady scenic route, in which you can slow down for a moment to look out and see the wonders of the world. Instead all you see is just a blur, and the shaking of a speeding train.

And you'll find that moving at such great speeds, that life can get noisy, and feel so unsteady, and that the pressures of living weigh more heavily down when we're moving at great speeds. And yes, you're places, but you've not stopped to look at the places you've passed by along the track to a destination you hardly know yourself. Until you reach a point where you're craving silence, only to realise the noises are coming from you, and the only pressures you're feeling can only be stopped when you stop, for just a moment to take it all in.

So now I've run so far from the world and all its pressures, and its social calamity and its devious repertoire. And I have lengthened the space between myself and the graces of friends and frequent acquaintances, in all their mediocrity and dramatic declines. I've never been much further from the familiarity of family or of traditions and the roller-coasters of their precious demeanour. Only to find myself, even after all that, so far from all the pressures and chaos, not in peace or in quiet, but the unmistakable sound of my own stresses and prejudiced repose...All by myself, deep within myself, so far from myself...with the sound of a speeding track...about to be derailed.

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Love & War

It is said that all is fair in love and war, and that no matter what your intentions, your strategy of interception and attack must always be for the sake of victory for either side. But nobody wins a war with no goals, or takes up arms in a battle without a great purpose in mind. And so the same rules apply in any relationship, which should be discouraged if they have no clear direction for growth in mind. Because if its engaging in a battle, and yes...love is a battle, against all odds...without goals, the only two factions in that war are the two people in love.

Without knowing what they're fighting for, soldiers will lose their morale, until eventually they lose faith and are faced with either defecting or retreating. When two allies meet amidst a war, the strength of their front does not lie in their power, or in their wisdom or even the magnitude of their honour, no matter how dignified, but rather in their diplomacy, in their union and their trust. And without their rules of engagement in a war against time. And no matter how dire their circumstance, or how advantages their position in life, they must never become the casualties of a war against their own tides.

As is in war so the rules must apply when engaging in love. That without borders, barricades and boundaries, the rules will always be broken unless the laws are laid out on a solid line. And whether for the best of intentions, or for morals far from kind, as in war the rules of engagement, in love, must be clearly defined. Yes all is fair in love and war, but remember which treaty you signed, make clear the terms of your allegiance, against your enemies, and with clear goals in mind.

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Rogue

Strange, isn't it? That one of the strongest muscles in a human being's entire physical body, is also the one you wish you had the most strength of will to hold tightly down, and silence it from throwing a blow that can often be more devastating to a man than any physical attack. For it leaves the kind of wounds you'll likely never find, are easily concealed, but take the longest time to recover through the worst kinds of recovery processes. And even though you have control of it, still it seems to break free from the bonds of discipline, understanding and self-control.

It is said that, that which flows from the mouth of a man, is merely the overflow of the rivers in his heart. And if the river flows black from the taint of disdain, and icy cold from the chill of sadness, then from his mouth only hurt and anguish can flow. Soon hurt turns to hatred, and anguish to abhorrence. Until the only words he has left to say, are the rigid and broken descriptions of his own fears and the sharp edged fractures ricocheting against that which he loves, and the innocent bystanders he never means to hurt.

So if your strongest muscle fails to find the strength to simply tame itself and stop, then like any unruly thing, it simply needs to be taught the discipline of humility and the knowledge of kindness. But most importantly train your tongue in the skill of understanding, and slowly it will gain the wisdom...of Love.

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Ping

Interesting that in this world of Instant Messaging, Email, Broadcast Messaging and Social Networking, every now and then we come face to face with the realisation, that under all the technology, we still have our humanity. That in a world of political correctness, censorships, laws, jargon and colloquialisms, there's nothing quite like communicating on a basic human connection. And as it happens, I have only begun to fully realize how true and real this connection is when it happened at such a level that made me disappear for a minute or so, deep in thought of these facts, and ask myself...What has happened to our humanity in all a world of "Instant Living"?

We want to live things through sooner rather than later, get more done faster, and get everything done better, and to be able to do all of these things over further distances than ever. And in all this fast paced living, what has happened to the appreciation of the Here and Now? Its not that life has passed us by and when we realised things have changed, all of a sudden we're stunned...In fact its us moving too fast for life, to the point that we haven't slowed down once to notice the changes taking place...changes that we have created ourselves.

But one day you'll happen across the same connection as I did, as few of us did...Like pulling up to a red robot, and at that very moment looking into the next lane to find someone stopping at the same time, staring them in the face, and simply smiling...and you'll find the most remarkable thing will happen, when the next person smiles right back at you. And you'll realize, that above the mail alerts, the instant messaging and the social networking, that nothing is more remarkable, than the human connection...Like a human 'Ping'.

Picking Petals

Like picking petals in a park, there are times when a relationship feels like it sits on a scale...And counting the bundles piece by piece feels so exhausting and unnerving as we get closer to a final result. Because we can count the "He Loves Me" petals, and we can count the "He Loves Me Not", but in the end that's not how Love works. Its based on whole different set of scales.

You see sometimes there are more times that one says "I'm Sorry", than the times you say "I Love You", and it may seem a bit weary to the person or people that the words are meant to be given to. But its not about weighing one set against the other, or about which pieces bear more significance to the next. Its about the connection that you've just encountered, and knowing that someone still remembers to bring an "I'm Sorry" petal or an "I Love You" at all.

Yes, there will be times that there are more "I'm Sorry" petals than "I Love You" petals on one blossom, and sometimes it may strike you as frightening that it grows at all. So the key is to simply stop counting petals and remember to grow your relationship like a garden in bloom. Because one day you'll find yourself without anymore flowers, and only the petals from the garden you've picked.

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Earning Life

In life we must learn, that nothing comes from nothing, and that the only way we can ever benefit from anything that this world has to offer, is when we invest in something first. Whether it be a good deed, a financial investment, or even personal growth, we cannot simply expect something to manifest itself out of this ridiculous notion of "positive thinking", "karma", and "mental actualization". It is through action that a reaction is brought into being, not by sheer will. So it then baffles me, to the point of irritation, that some people simply expect the universe to grant them good tidings, when they have not earned it.

Then there's this idea that if you're a good person, good things will simply happen to you. This cannot be the case in a universe that relies on an input and output system. If you're a good person, who does good things, with love in your heart and of good and sound judgement, then all that makes you is simply a good person. You do not get rewarded for being good in this world, it is a basic expectation of your own humanity, not a gesture of greatness or the work of a man struggling to be great. Goodness is a character, and goodwill is mindset, just as dieting is a phase and healthy eating a lifestyle. If you want to reap the rewards of goodness, it will be done accordingly from those who have noticed your goodwill, or from those who a positively affected by it. But do not expect this to happen as a matter of principal, it is a reward that comes only to those who aren't looking.

Understand this, as simply as breath gives life, that good things don't happen to good people, because bad things happen to them too. And that sometimes out of ignorance, with the notion of being good, we can make poor judgements and bad decisions. Because sometimes the worst decisions are made with the best intentions. If you want something out of life, you have to work, work harder and happier, towards your own dreams, and manifest your own happiness. Because even your place in life, has to be earned.

Return In Kind

There are many arts of progress and social behaviours, that not only define us as people, but as a society and as an individual. And since the universe is run by systems of cause and effect and the overall progression and evolution of small actions that ultimately create extraordinary reactions and changes to the world we live in. That even the slightest change in the wind's direction can cause a complete shift in the weather and the landscape we live on, or how small seismic incidences can change whole tides in seas, wreaking havoc and destruction!

Now likewise there is a saying in human nature that teaches us the concepts of "Tit for Tat", or biblical concepts of "Sowing & Reaping", and even scientific concepts of "Push and Repel". And this crazy idea that if someone wrongs you, all that is naturally expected is for you to return the gesture in kind. But what does that say about human nature? That if we are pushed, we simply push back? And judging how we've evolved naturally in our environment, that since the world became harsh, we simply grew stronger and fought off the changes, adapted and survived. And somehow we've applied the same laws in society, that when the world grows cold, we grow colder, and when things don't go our way, we attack anything and anyone around us, in the hopes that somehow the universe will magically turn things in our favour.

But I have learned a crucial piece of information, that has, I think, helped me become a better person, a happier person with a sound mind. Call it the hypothesis of Life and Living if you will, but I figured, that since the universe works on the concepts of Cause and Effect, what would happen if I reacted in a different way to a negative incident, with positivity? Would this not negate or somehow change the set rules of circumstance, and does this not make the situation seem better for me and everyone else? And so far I've come to understand the method to my madness. That if someone wrongs you or if things simply don't go your way, don't return the gesture in kind...But return it in Kindness.