Forget To Remember

Sometimes in life we reach a place where we realise that the only thing we're really doing, isn't living, but rather learning...and furthermore...learning how to shield ourselves, protect our hearts, avoid and run away from painful and traumatic experiences. And really, it's not the initial shock of the experience or the sting of a cold dagger puncturing our hearts, but rather the festering wound that we later have to live with. And every time you find yourself going through the motions of a similar experience, or find yourself treading on familiar territory, your mind wakes up and goes back to the place you once were before, and the icy discomfort of an anxious heart sends pins and needles surging through your body, and the only physical action you can possibly muster up, is the only thing you haven't forgotten how to do after your body freezes up and mind goes blank, is to empty your tear ducts...and cry...

Yes, sometimes your body, your heart and your mind, learns to develop a series of systems that are designed to safeguard your life from going through further traumatic experiences, by using your worst fears and your darkest memories like an alarm system to warn you when danger is near, and to keep the things that could potentially hurt you at bay. But how can we hold on to any new experiences, good memories and sweet, stolen moments, when our hearts are to full to accommodate anything other than the bad memories therein, like unwelcome tenants that are simply stuck in our lives...We cannot possibly catch a little bit of hope with hands grasping so tightly onto despair.

So I guess you could say that the only solution is to learn to move forward, to let live and let go. And yes, it never hurts to be cautious and careful, and to be wise in everything we say and do, it's just part of protecting ourselves against a very real and scary world. But we should never fool ourselves into caging our hearts into clear cut, glass boxes that we never use. Sometimes it's good to remember to forgive, to remember to forget, and even wiser to forget to remember...

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