Reset & Replay

You know how sometimes when you're watching a really good movie, and you get to a scene that you really, really love...whether or not you loved the actors, or the cinematography, or the set design, or the director, or even anything else about the entire film...you can't help but keep rewinding the reel all the way back to the beginning of the part that you felt made you happy, and made you love any particular part of the film at all...I've begun to feel that way about my life altogether.

Some people can reminisce, contemplate or even try to relive their glory days, or try to string together memories or glimpses of the past, back to places and periods in their lives where they felt inspired, motivated, liberated, invigorated and simply more alive within themselves than ever before. For some people it's a heartache, a fleeting memory, a lost hope and even a broken dream...but somehow for me, I feel it's what makes life worth living...Because surely you don't live life just to see yourself through the next day? Yes, life is about growth and about developing yourself into a better being, or trying to get closer to where you were meant to be and become who you were meant to become...yes...but sometimes, yes sometimes, all life can be, are those small glimpses, those vivid memories, those moments of happiness, where everything and everyone in your life, for a brief second, seems to be in its most perfect disposition, in perfect harmony with the life you're living.

But the sad truth about some films, is that they are designed to have ups, downs, climaxes and anticlimaxes, and there are bound to be scenes or actors in them that we certainly do not agree with, appreciate or care about all together...moments in a film that we simply wish were not part of the script, part of the film, built into the final cut or even drafted at all...But life is not a movie, and unlike the position we find ourselves in when we're just a spectator...in life, we are involved and can choose which direction we want to go...sometimes, we are allowed to simply reset things back to where we felt comfortable with who we are, delete the scenes that we feel don't belong there, and replay things in the order that we feel is best for us. Many people can say that we shouldn't live life with regrets, and the truth is, I don't...but there are some bridges that must be burned, some reels that must be edited out, some scenes in our lives that simply cannot make the final cut, and some actors that have to be "ex'd" from our lives...loose ends, no matter what you think, are simply strands that once formed part of a whole on a body, are simply useless and must be trimmed and thrown away...

Yes...this is my life, and I am the director...and one does not always have to listen to critics and reviews...after all...nobody else can understand your vision, your design concept, your narrative dynamic flowing from one event to another, or the purpose of each individual scene building from act to act, each flowing and building toward the climax of your life's purpose...no, nobody can understand it. This is my life, and in the end I want it to be the director's cut, my version...Because if one day you find yourself in a position where your life is flashing before your eyes, you at least want to make sure that it's got a damn good trailer...and if not for any other reason, but this...then sometimes, yes sometimes, it is better to Stop, Reset, Replay and Recover...