To Welcome Discomfort

So firstly...here are a few sayings I've heard, that have made me wonder about a little thing called change..."Don't get too comfy", "Comfort is not a style", "When you're comfy, it's time to change"...all of these making me wonder only one thing...so lets look at things from this perspective:

Whenever someone says "don't get too comfy", it's usually a warning that things are about to change. It's to try an tell the person on the receiving end, that things have become complacent, nonchalant, boring or simply unchallenged. It's the type of warning that makes one become somewhat precarious about the position your in, the place you find yourself, the time you find yourself in, and makes you look at other options of simply getting out.

Or when Fashion Consultants tell someone that "Comfort is not a style", it usually implies that comfortable clothing equals to unfashionable clothing, much like frumpy, unattractive, colourless, shapeless clothing.It usually means, that the only way to know that something looks gorgeous, fashionable, stunning and stylish, is when something feels unbearably uncomfortable, like heels, or corsets, or dresses and shirts. Another warning that tells you to change.

But the most recent and oddest, simply unorthodox saying that I've ever had the pleasure of my ears coming across, was to hear someone saying "When you're comfy, it's time to change". This made me think a lot about the concept of change, and of how change relates to growth, life and new adventures. Life is meant to be about growth, about adventure and how those two things teaching us how to become better versions of ourselves - moving us closer towards our dreams, visions and great aspirations. However, this also opens up the frightening idea, that when there IS change, there must also come the possibility of great, painful and excruciating discomfort. People are always telling each other to change, and that "change is good", and that all things in life come from change, but what they don't tell you is how exceptionally hard it is, and that the process is long and simply discomforting.

Because here I was, hoping to change, hoping to grow, and hoping to start a new adventure in my life, not even for a fraction of a second thinking about how hard the change is really going to be, not just for me, but for everyone else too, not realizing that with a change would come a shift in my entire life, my entire lifestyle, shaping and remodeling whole lives that were built around mine, on top of mine, supporting mine and even creating mine, not for a moment taking the time to understand how discomforting and difficult this was really going to be. But I should have guessed, and should have been grown up enough to know that change could never be easy. But somewhere deep down inside I must have realized that this was going to be difficult for everyone...otherwise why would I fear it so much...why would I have been so afraid of this change.

So the fact of the matter is that Change with Comfort isn't change at all, and that Discomfort with Change is simply Discomfort. That without Discomfort, there isn't Change, without Change, there isn't Growth, and without Growth, there is no Life...so why fear it at all. Embrace it...embrace Change...embrace Life...the idea...the simple idea...is to welcome Discomfort, and say "Hello" to Change.

The Cocoon

Strange isn't it...how some things in life are better left alone. Better left untouched, unchanged, unmoved...just simply understood and left alone. But here's the difficulty in that. There is a deep, dark, uncontrollable desire deep within the human soul to poise everything in life toward the direction of change. We long so badly to control everything, that we have even blindly, and selfishly disillusioned ourselves into thinking that we can control, overpower, manipulate and master even the smallest fractions of Life itself. Like a child who follows a caterpillar, and sets it on a tree, and lets it feed on the lush green leaves, hoping, watching and anticipating for the day the tiny creature will grow...learning more and more about the beauty of the 100 legged thing, about the burden it bares, about the journey it's traveled, about the the road it still has to overcome. And then one day, that little child will find that the friend he knew, and learned to love and appreciate has vanished, and all that's left is a hard and stony cocoon.

Now we all know and understand the concept of the caterpillar, and it's evolution into a cocoon, and that from the cocoon will emerge a butterfly, a thing of beauty, a creature of delight, the signature upon springs beautiful canvas. However...what they don't talk about is the hardest part of the process of it's growth, not just for the caterpillar but for the person watching too...the period they don't talk about, is the concept of leaving something well enough alone, the space needed to let things grow, the time it takes for something in life to become more than anyone ever thought possible including itself...what they don't talk about...is Distance.

When you grow close to something, and share an incomprehensible understanding with it, an undeniable connection, a bond unlike any other - the hardest thing to bare, is the waiting, the wondering, the longing, the wanting, the needing, the intoxicating desire to want to simply touch the hardened shell and split open the thinly built layer, the crusty shell, the protective barrier, the fine space needed between friends, the one thing that allows that beautiful, tiny fraction of nature to actually grow into something wonderful...that much, they don't tell...they don't talk about the distance. You see, some things in Life simply cannot be controlled, manipulated, overpowered and undermined. Some things in Life must simply be left well enough alone, or you risk shattering a gravely important process in Life, a crucial moment of evolution, the crescendo to that which lifts us to the highest point of growth in our life...and then, all your left with is an unborn butterfly, a broken cocoon, and a dying caterpillar...simply the fragments of what once was a beautiful friendship...

So the truth is, that if you want things to grow, let them happen naturally, in their own time and space. Because some things are simply left well enough alone. Because like most things on Earth, in Life...like all good friendships...they simply require a little Patience...and some Distance to grow.

About a dark room...

Have you ever seen a dark room, or ever been inside. It's a room that's filled with images, memories, hopes, dreams, desires, joy and laughter, beauty and wonder. But as any photographer would tell you...that within the confines of the dark room. Deep within the stony walls, trapped within the lair of Time, shut off from the outside world, like broken promises hanging from a line, latched to pegs grasping at the corners of a forgotten thought, there are many, too many...negatives. The problem with a dark room can sometimes be quite obvious, but sometimes hidden, and sometimes misunderstood, often used to process thoughts that ones eyes simply cannot see, but what the right tools can alter and what the only the mind can tell...that thing is simply the darkness. But in the dark room, memories can be distorted, images can be changed, dreams can be erased and laughter turned to sadness...all within the confines of a lonely, dark room.

For too long I found myself in a dark room, staring at forgotten memories, unfamiliar faces, dreaming up things that simply never happened, trapped within the mind distorting darkness of a cold and minute space, with only the random thoughts hanging from a time line that I thought I understood, only to find myself trapped in all the pictures, staring at a forgotten thought, a distant memory, a broken promise...a completely unfamiliar, unrecognizable me. There were always negatives that surrounded me, pictures trapped within my mind, never revealed, never understood, never dealt with, forever unchanging. These were the things I had to discover, explore, reveal and understand, but for fear of finding an undeniable truth, I simply could not muster the courage to press the picture against the clear pool of solution, waiting for the taint of life to peel away the darkness that all this time blinded myself from myself, simply waiting for my whole life to be torn apart by the real memories of a forgotten me.

Pity...one thing I didn't count on was Fate...the great daughter of Time...the duchess of Chance...wisp of the Future...shade of the Past. And Fate it seems, simply had other plans for me. And I know they can't be plans to keep me here in the darkness, but simply directed to a brighter future...because you see...As any photographer would tell you, the thing that makes a dark room work, is the darkness...so why is it that the door to the room now stands open, bringing in a mighty flood of light erasing all the memories of regrets, disappointments, broken promises, forgotten dreams, frowns and sadness, disdain and destruction...why? I know this much...that the light feels better than the darkness, and that the cold and feelings INSIDE the room pales in comparison to being OUT...I know Fate has a brighter future for me...not trapped within a dark room...no...a future OUT in the light...